Maintaining Friendships In Your Twenties

taylonm@20xxthemagazine.com

Often times we are told that the older we get, the more friends we will lose. Unfortunately, sometimes this is true. Sustaining relationships in your twenties is a lot more work than when you were in
your teens. Your structure of life constantly changes throughout your twenties.  Change is OK. Change can even be great…and that might include changes in friendships as well. Our girl crew will most noticeably change the older we get.  You soon start to realize that you’ve made the jump from trying to be an adult to actually being an adult. This doesn’t mean you’ve all become fluent in politics, or have stopped ordering bottomless mimosas at brunch. Rather, it’s noticing that you all have some experience now, and some of your viewpoints have changed.

Additionally  depending on where you are, relationship dynamics are constantly changing. Your homegirl who was always available, is now married. Another one is working graveyard.  Friendships will tend
to rank lower than marriages and careers. A mature person will understand where they fit in that paradigm without competing for time or attention. However, what will remain apparent is that every woman will still need those good girlfriends to communicate and spend time with, amidst life’s changes.
No, it may not involve long drawn out phone conversations over the phone like in high school or college-but that’s ok. No more late night sessions, coming over to each others rooms, talking into the wee hours of the morning–but that’s ok too. It may become apparent that replies in the group messages may take longer than they did in the past…and yes, that’s also ok. What will matter are those times to communicate the sacred and most important times in your life.

With each year that we grow and change, things get tougher and more wonderful at the same time. We begin to experience successes, monumental  moments and new beginnings, but we also experience more losses, pain, and often times heartbreaks. Our mind and hearts are being forced to retain more – more memories, more experiences, more love and more pain. That usually means we’re probably going to require something different from our friendships in our twenties because our hearts and minds have a different makeup now. Often our conversations with our friends will become more honest and
more vulnerable. We have more that we need to talk through with the ones we feel most like ourselves around. We have to make more complicated decisions and more difficult choices that require the
honest opinions of the people we trust the most. Thats were the importance of that great friendship plays key in your twenties. We need that good friend or group of gal pals to lean on. Yes we are strong and often we can make it on our own. But everybody needs a somebody especially in transformative years such as these…and sometimes, it cant be your man or your family. It’s that
common understanding from another female who is going through transformations as well that has the most influence. That will be that shoulder you need to lean on. You began to see how important it is t to maintain these relationships with your girl tribe.  Nothing helps more than to have someone to help you conquer and enjoy this transformative decade. As women, sharing your life experiences with other women is both validating and elucidating. They are the ones who offer reassurance by saying “no girl, you’re not crazy for feeling what you’re feeling”. They provide you with more context as you try to navigate the world of womanhood, expanding your understanding of my your own realm of experiences.

There are so many ways to keep to connected to your girls and keep the communications going so you don’t loose out on these bond as you navigate your twenties . Ways in which you can maintain these powerful friendships :

1: Set up group messages/ Group Chats

Perfect your text game to keep the good, genuine vibes alive. Sometimes it can be hard to keep up with every single person, every single day, every single week. Creating a group message can help you
and your circle of friends keep in constant communications. It gives everyone the chance to find out how everyone is doing, what new major life events are going on, or even something as simple as a funny meme to keep that spark of laughter alive amongst one another. Make sure you are utilizing this route , its simple and you’ll be surprise how much it may help your friends keep engagement. Keep that golden
friendship of yours alive, one character at a time.

2: Try to schedule outings once a month

Life can get so routine. You can often feel like your apart of the rat race. Sometimes you just need a small break. An opportunity to let your hair down. A good outing with your favorite gal pals can be the
perfect occasion. Getting dressed up and meeting over drinks can get you out of your head space and it’ll give you the perfect opportunity to catch up. Or maybe you can go out to eat, or grab takeout from your
fave place and settle in at a local movie theatre. You may not need to fill up your time with extravagant things to enjoy a outing with close friends. Regardless, just having that time to get out, and switch up routine cannot only be good for you but it might be the relief your friends need as well.

3: Take a girls trip once a year

Nothings more fun than taking a trip with your girls. Its so easy to get consumed with everyday life. Often times we need time to just let your hair down and relax. Why not do it with your girls. Find a good
few days out of the year and take a trip with your girl. Even if its just  a long weekend in one of the cities one of you are living in. Just that time away from your everyday life will be not only be relaxing but a great time to catch up with your girls.

4: Get active together

Have you been wanting to hit up gym lately? Maybe check out that new dance class? Why not do it with your closest friends? You’re already seeing the need for exercising, so having a motivating partner could
be a huge blessing. It’s a lot more fun and a lot less daunting to hit a class you’ve never tried before with a friend by your side. Plus it gives you opportunity to catch up on a normal weekday and find
something new to bond over.

5: Do a girls night in

Once in a while get with your  girlfriends and go to someones house and have a night in. You can eat, drink and be merry. You can even have a theme if you like. Maybe do a spa night or a movie night. Its
affordable and relaxing. Plus it gives you and your girls the opportunity to have some drinks  and fun in the comfort in ones home.

There is no secret formula to maintaining these friendships. All you can do is try. Your friends will always appreciate the effort. The older we get, the harder it will be to find solid bonds like these.
So try not to give up on these friendship and still find some type of way to prioritize them as you do everything else in your life. You may not talk everyday…or meet up as often, but when you do it’s
just like old times with no awkwardness. Remember friends are the family you choose. They help make you who you are. That is is something special you should try to hold on to and do whatever it takes to maintain because they are so hard to come by. Plus when you get old don’t you want to have memories and people to laugh with? So here’s to maintaining these bonds and making more memories in your twenties with your girls.

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